I think most of us have struggled with the inner self-critic. That voice tells you that you are not good enough. You cannot do that thing you want to do. Don’t bother even trying because you will fail.
Whether that was in sports, during my studies or my training as a sport psychologist, I have always struggled with that inner critic and the self-limiting beliefs. They used to stop me from doing the things that needed to be done. They prevented me from gaining valuable experiences and led me to procrastinate and ruminate.
They were not helpful and were driving my behaviour. Causing me to be ineffective.
When I started my sport psychology training, I avoided putting myself out there. Avoided suggesting interventions, doing workshops or posting content. Why did I avoid doing all those things that would have helped me? That inner voice told me I wasn’t good enough. That inner voice creates self-limiting barriers.
Now the funny thing is, I haven’t overcome it. I still have these difficult thoughts and feelings all the time. I still have my self-limiting beliefs and that inner critic is still there. I don’t think it will ever go away.
What I have done is start to accept it and be open to it. Ultimately, I need to be able to choose the behaviour that is going to help me be effective. Whether that is suggesting an intervention or workshop, posting content or so on. That is what I need to do. I cannot let that self-criticism stop me from doing those things.
I had to learn to be open to it. It is part of who we are, who I am. I had to learn to accept it. Once I started to do those things despite the inner critic telling me not to, I felt amazing. I started to improve my ability to choose how to respond.
Did I have those discomforting thoughts and feelings? Yes. However once I had still done the things that needed to be done, I felt amazing. Whereas if I had avoided them, I would have felt worse.
I think this is relevant for anyone who is performing. One of the important ways of overcoming it based on my experience and knowledge to date is action. Doing the thing is imperative.
Avoiding that thing provides instant relief. However, that relief is fleeting and the discomfort comes back stronger.
Being open to the inner critic and the barriers it creates, accepting it is there and then doing what needs to be done works for me. Just remember, that inner critic doesn’t speak the truth. Whatever excuse or criticism it throws your way, it isn’t true. All it wants is for you to avoid doing that thing because it is hard and uncomfortable.
Just think, your brain wants you to survive. Is putting yourself in a situation where you will feel discomfort, vulnerable and worried about the best things for survival. No! Your brain is going to come up with many ways of getting you to avoid all of that. For me, that came in the form of my self-limiting beliefs.
As I left university, I thought I had all the knowledge to go and work in elite sport. I thought I knew everything. I had studied for so long, that I should walk into any job.
I look back now and think how stupid I was to think that.
Knowledge without experience isn’t that helpful. Knowledge and the skill to apply that knowledge is the best way to develop. I lacked applied experience.
I remember my dad would talk about how important experience is. I never listened to him. I thought I knew more because I had studied more than him. I used to get annoyed when I didn’t get jobs due to a lack of experience. It would frustrate me. I would think ‘I know what I’m talking about, I have studied for so long, surely I should get the job’.
It was only when I had my first applied experience as a sport psychologist that I realised how wrong I had been. I remember sitting across from an athlete and all my knowledge left me. All this knowledge about the psychological principles of sport just disappeared. I panicked and luckily didn’t make a fool of myself (well, I don’t think I did anyway!).
It was at this moment that I realised I needed to gain experience. I fully realised how important gaining applied experience is. It’s all well and good having the knowledge sitting there. It is useless if you do not know how to apply it.
The best way to learn how to apply the knowledge is to go out and gain the experience to apply that knowledge.
I look back and wish I had volunteered for applied experience opportunities growing up. I wish I made the most out of the free time I had when studying. Those experiences would have been beneficial for me when starting my training.
The lesson to take away here, gain as much experience as you possibly can. It will be worthwhile. You need to combine knowledge and skill. Skill is the ability to apply what you know. Don’t be like I was and think you know everything. You don’t.
I now realise I know very little. I am fully aware that I still lack experience and knowledge. This is all part of the process of development. We are constantly learning. I embrace this now and enjoy it.
I haven’t figured everything out. These challenges I have talked about still affect me to this day. Don’t think I have it all figured out. I don’t. I am just sharing what I have experienced and what I have learned from it. What I have talked about might not even be relevant to you. Anyway, thank you for reading this and I hope it has provided some insight for you.
